I've been looking through old photos tonight because I sat down at the desk to print a family picture for the now-second-grader to take to school tomorrow. Forty-five minutes later I had not printed a picture. Instead I smiled, laughed, cried even. It had been a while since I'd cried.
These are the things I wanted to tell myself (SCREAM to myself) two, three, four years ago:
-You look great. Stop thinking you don't.
-Your house looks great. Stop thinking it doesn't.
-You built yourselves a little life down there in Arizona. Even though you feel alone there, your family is adorable and getting stronger. Don't disregard that growth.
-Your mom is going to die soon. Call her. Call her every damn day.
-You are a fun mom.
-You will be happy.
-You should get your hair done more often.
-Good job telling Sam to grow a beard.