I've been looking through old photos tonight because I sat down at the desk to print a family picture for the now-second-grader to take to school tomorrow. Forty-five minutes later I had not printed a picture. Instead I smiled, laughed, cried even. It had been a while since I'd cried.
These are the things I wanted to tell myself (SCREAM to myself) two, three, four years ago:
-You look great. Stop thinking you don't.
-Your house looks great. Stop thinking it doesn't.
-You built yourselves a little life down there in Arizona. Even though you feel alone there, your family is adorable and getting stronger. Don't disregard that growth.
-Your mom is going to die soon. Call her. Call her every damn day.
-You are a fun mom.
-You will be happy.
-You should get your hair done more often.
-Good job telling Sam to grow a beard.
2 comments:
That's what I do when I try to clean the house: distract myself by going through the old journal I find stashed under the bed.
So, Sam listened to you when you told him to grow a beard, huh? I tried to coerce Nathan into doing that. He only lasted a week.
Sam loves you more ;)
I need all those reminders. Why do we always get them a little too late.
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